schwing!
I have $300,000 to spend on a Mercedes. Obviously I am going to get the outrageous 700 hp carbon-fiber-head-to-toe'd AMG Black edition. I'm going to race all of my friends around the streets of Dubai and talk about how much carbon fiber my car has. That makes it lighter. Therefore it's faster. Therefore I am faster than you are. My rims are oversized because they can be. Does it make the car faster? No. But it makes my car look cooler. So yeah, actually, it does make the car faster.
2. Lamborghini Reventon
I have a million dollars to drop on a car. Screw the kids going to college. My car costs a million dollars, they don't need to go to college. My car looks like its from the future - I dress like I am too. Do you like my tail lights? Me too. They're the best. They make the car aerodynamic and cool looking and all the women love me when I drive this car. Not only because its a Lamborghini, but its also cost a million dollars. It has one exhaust. That's because both headers feed into one tube, creating a trifecta of exhaust ejecting power. This makes it fast. Sometimes it shoots flames. When it does shoot flames, everyone in a two mile radius spontaneously orgasms. Except for me, because I'm going so fast I'm outside the two mile range. That's my only complaint. Oh, and that it doesn't come in neon green.
3. Green Lamborghini Murcielago
Yes, I just answered your question before you thought of it. Yes, you are correct. It IS faster because its green. You see those green lips around my black rims? Faster. Green butterfly doors? Faster. Green neon actually shoots out from under the car when its on. That makes it faster too. And I actually need the butterfly doors. I have a really hard time not looking cool when I get in or out of a vehicle, so the doors are a nice touch because they take some of the focus off of me and onto the car. Which is green. Look at me. Now at the car. Now back to me. Actually, just look at me. I'll get in the car in just a minute. I just have to figure out how to work these doors...
4. Porsche Carrera GT
First off, it's a Porsche. Porsche. "Por" "shuh". Not "porsh," get some class. And then get a half a million dollar car. Maybe then I'll invite you on our Pacific Coast highway drives. Maybe, but only if you have an amazing car. Is this a hard top or a convertible? How should I know? I just drive it like a prick on the highway, I don't actually know anything about it. All I know is that my super blonde wife loves the feeling of wind in her hair when I overtake you at 150mph on the shoulder. Don't go 80 in the passing lane is all I'm saying. If you're not passing someone, just move over. And if you are, still move over because you won't ever pass me.
5. Ferrari Enzo
This car cost me $700,000. It was no big deal though. It's red, it's a ferrari, it has butterfly doors, and its a ferrari. I only drive this when I wear my ferrari hat, watch, and custom made leather racing gloves. I don't race though. I would never take this thing to the track, what the hell are you thinking? Enzo? Track? Pffffffffft. I take my girlfriend out to the fanciest restaurants in this thing. She tries to get out of the butterfly doors, but she's only been able to legally drink for two years or so now - I guess she is just inexperienced. Whatever, I'm sure I'll find a new one soon enough that'll be able to get in and out of my ferrari without hurting herself. And its red. I wish it was green. But red is a close second. Unless this thing came in yellow. Then red would be a close third.
*I had fun writing this blog - It's all a joke.
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