But the other night I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant called Daniella Osteria's over in Up Town. It was this authentic Italian place with live music and phenomenal food. I was trying to be romantic, and splurged a little bit on a bottle of wine. Two minutes later, they bring out a bottle of some white wine (I don't know a single thing about wine) and the waiter pours a sip in my glass.
Think, Remington, think... What do you do next.
I sat patiently waiting for him to either finish pouring, or serve my girlfriend first, or something. I had NO idea what I was doing. All of a sudden it hit me: I am supposed to sip it, then approve, then smell it, then wave something at my face, then wait for the waiter to pour my girlfriend a glass.... or something in that order.
I grabbed the cup, watched him wince as I held it wrong, drank it all, then said... "Uh... yeah, yeah, this is good. This one will work." Then I stared at him. He simply nodded, poured my girlfriend a glass, poured me a glass, and left with the bottle.
My girlfriend, far more cosmopolitan than I, couldn't help but laugh at me. I felt like I was back with Ms. Manners or something. She gave me a lesson in fine Italian dining right there on the dinner table.
"Hold the glass like this."
"Sip it, swirl it, smell it, sip it."
"Don't hold white like that, that's how you hold a red."
"Remington, don't use that fork."
"Remington, that's a napkin, not a bandana."
.....
I did that last one just to piss her off.
In all seriousness though, Danielle Osteria's was amazing. The service was awesome (I ended up confessing to my waiter that I had no idea what I was doing), and the food was even better. I had this pasta fish thing.
Next time you're in Osteria's, and you're confused on what to order. Just ask for the pasta fish thing, they'll take care of you.
I highly recommend it. Just make sure you know what you're doing.
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