WARNING: Do not watch the Trailer I just linked, unless for some reason, you are intrigued by the rest of this blog post. I watched it and it freaked me out for a few days. It's the most bizarre, but maybe scariest horror movie ever conceived.
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Spoiler alert...
I've never seen The Human Centipede. But I did see the trailer and i nearly wet myself. Here's the premise with some heartfelt commentary:
Two attractive girls' car break down. (Nice.)
They wander around, and find a suburban community or something. (Okay... typical slasher flick action going on)
Some german dude answers the door. (Germans are always up to no good in horror movies.)
He even looks crazy. Note the background...
Uh oh they're kidnapped! (Uh oh!)
German guy turns out to be a mad scientist of sorts. (Called it.)
German guy reveals his master plan: he wants to make a human centipede. (Uhh... what?)
By sewing three people together, mouth to butt, and then breaking their legs. (Okay, what the.......)
Girls put up a struggle and try to flee (Thank god.)
It's implied that they fail. Final scene in trailer briefly shows the... "centipede" (What the $%@#)
I can't believe that this is what horror movies have come to. I feel like this is the legacy that movies like Hostel and SAW 3 through SAW Whatever leave behind: scare the audience with gratuitous gore and violence rather than tension and story elements.
I miss movies like Psycho and the exorcist. They're so old, but they've stood the test of time. Even Michael Myers in the original Halloween movie was pretty scary. Corny, but still scary.
These days its just horrifying acts of violence on sexy people.
The Human Centipede? Hostel? SAW? Come on Hollywood, give us some creativity.
...
... I guess The Human Centipede is pretty creative...
Come on, ya'll know what I meant.
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