Crazy Customers

Let me preface this by letting the world know that I work at Radio Shack. It's kind of embarassing, but I need the money to pay for what financial aid refuses to: the fraternity. And hell, it's an easy job. Mostly I chill in the back room with my co-workers, bullshitting about random stuff until a customer walks in the door and needs some obscure battery.

Come on in. Let me make up some stuff so you'll buy something.

Easy.

Every once in a while though, you get a crazy.

A few days ago I had this woman come in wanting to buy a computer. She was in her fifties, and looked like the typical highland park mom that usually comes in. She found out what frat I was in, and "apparently" her brother was in the frat, and she asked if she could get the computer for free because she's a sister-of-a-brother. I told her no, but made a joke about if she wanted to swing by the back alley at midnight, there may be a computer waiting for her.

She laughed. I laughed. My co-worker laughed. Whatever.

So I explain to her the differences in our computers. I compare them. I might have contrasted them. Next she decides to look at a GPS. Then a cellphone. Then an expensive set of land-line phones. She kept me walking around the store while I tried to sell her a bunch of stuff, but she was too busy telling me her entire fucking life story.

Listen... I don't care.

I get paid on commission. If you buy a big item, I get a percent. If you buy a cellphone? I make bank. If you keep me occupied for two hours telling me everything little thing about yourself, and why you are important, and why I should care, I don't make a damn thing. In fact, I lose money because I lose customers.

She left, finally, after about 3 hours of talking to me, asking me my name, asking if she could buy me dinner, asking all kinds of weird questions, and telling me WAY more personal information than I needed to know.

Then called the store, asked to speak to me, told me I was an awful representation of my fraternity, threatened to have to older ex-frat brother come and "make me buy" her the computer she was looking at. Also, apparently I was extremely offensive.

... because I made that joke about leaving the computer out back... during the first thirty seconds she was in the store.

 Uhhhh...

Look, if you need that much attention, go get a web cam and open up on YouTube. Go and call a friend. No friends? Get on MySpace or Craigslist and go nuts. Don't come into my store and waste my time. I'm gonna assume you're crazy, and treat you accordingly.

I work at Radio Shack on Lovers Lane, if you come in I'll get you half off.